We’re back home. Going off to Santa Fe was a good decision. It took a few days for Tim to feel well enough to do much of anything, but at least we were in a beautiful place that’s always been very special to us. It’s possible Tim might have improved even if we had stayed home, but we like to think there was something healing about where we were -- and just changing the scenery. Most of the time, we tried to stay in the moment and not cloud our present with regrets about the past or worries about the future. We weren’t always successful… but a lot of the time we were.

Tim’s appetite is slowly returning. It’s not back to what it used to be, but at least he’s eating and hopefully gaining back some of the 12 lbs he lost over the last couple weeks. Neither one of our energy levels are quite what they used to be, but nonetheless we did manage to go on some of our favorite hikes, tracking down plants and photographing them. Paul is doing ok, although it’s hard to tell whether his lower energy level is due to the high elevations (7,000-10,000 feet) or the slowly developing anemia from his multiple myeloma. Tim’s progress is a little more up-and-down. Some days are definitely better than others, but overall he’s doing better than before we left. And… Tim’s eyeballs are no longer bright yellow due to jaundice.

Compared to previous years, we were fairly slow going on our hikes, but at least we did them. We didn’t see the variety of wildflowers that we usually see in the Spring, but there were still plenty of fields of gold rabbitbrush and purple asters set against spectacular backdrops. (Ok… for our botanist friends, these were mostly Ericameria nauseosa, Gutierrezia sarothroe and Dieteria canescens.)

Perhaps portending what’s in store for us, Fall is in the air in New Mexico and things are starting to settle down in preparation for Winter. We’ll need the revitalization we got in Santa Fe to deal with the upcoming week. Lab tests, oncology appointments, CAT scans and more every day of the week. Both of us will be bouncing back and forth between Kaiser Oakland and UC San Francisco. For Tim, the big question is whether or not he can qualify for a clinical trial for pancreatic cancer treatment. His jaundice (as measured by his bilirubin level) will probably prevent him from qualifying right away, but we’re hoping that his bilirubin level drops enough over the next couple weeks so that he can qualify. That seems to be the best option for a better quality and possibly longer life.

Many of you have offered help including providing food and visiting. Right now, food is a bit tricky. Athough we appreciate the offer, bringing food over might be a better idea later when our appetites improve and/or we don’t have the energy to cook. As for visiting… we definitely want to see folks, but more than a short visit may be the most we can handle right now. Between our medical appointments and our energy levels, we’d rather wait until we have a better sense of what’s in store – notably, chemo. Once we know when chemo starts (for either or both of us) and how often we have to go in for treatments, we can definitely plan some get-togethers.